I Lost My Mind at the Opticians.

I really think I did. Well, at least part of it. It happened over the weekend, and not due to any ‘funny stuff’. I would understand my mind’s state this week if that was the truth!

On Sunday lunchtime, after a few rums and a ska boogie the night before, I dragged myself out of bed just in time to make an eye test at my local opticians. I was a little fuggy in the head, but aren’t we all on Sunday morning? By the time I arrived at the Opticians I was a little hot and bothered from the jog down the Roman Road in the East End, wearing a long and thick denim jacket to protect again the crisp air, but not against the warm sun.A drop of water and a few deep breaths, and I was plunged into the dark room…

I didn’t really know what to expect. The last eye test I had was some 20 years ago, and consisted of a hand over one eye and reading some top lines of random letters off a poster on the far wall of my school calssroom.

Things seem to have changed! Numerous equipment clamped around the face, the whirr of the contraption, and my heart beating in my chest in the otherwise still room. Images of a Clockwork Orange were close at hand and in mind.

And then there were the lights. Shone at length into and across my eyes. First the left, and then the right. ‘Look at my ear’, he said. A little scared, I fixed my attention on the tip of his ear until told to look left, right, up and down. What was he up to, and was the white light carrying subliminal messages or images, searing them onto my retinas and into my mind..?

Only time will tell if I begin to see pictures of naked men, fluffy bunnies, or chanting natives. But what I know already is that I have been unable to fully connect with the real world since. I’ve lost count of how many people have stopped to ask me if I’m okay. ‘Yeah,’ I reply. ”Course. It’s just that Monday feeling’. Except it’s now Wednesday. I can eat, drink, walk, but anything else seems to be just that little bit too difficult to navigate.

I would like to say I’ve got lots on my mind and I’m just finding it hard to focus. The truth is it’s just air up there, with a few cotton clouds, and I’m currently bouncing around on one extra large puff.

Hopefully I will return to earth before I am due to operate any heavy machinery or attempt to write anything serious on this here blog thingie.

Please bear with me.x